We Made It

Okay everyone!  So Nathan and I are fully moved into our first apartment together and we could not be more happy! I’ll show you some pics of the place and just we made it.  Through everything that life threw at us, we made it.  Nathan turned to me the other night and told me he was happy.  Happy.  Those words I had not heard him say in a very very long time.  Actually haven’t heard him say he was genuinely happy since we dated back in high-school.  But he said this with a smile on his face and he just held me closer to him and I couldn’t be more enthralled!  He’s been so great and last night he called me wife ❤ This man is amazing and I am way too blessed.  God has given me someone who is going to love me for who I am and enjoy the rest of my life with!  But before I get all mushy gooshy like I tend too, let me show you the pics!

1618448_1552203178390503_4235848798195479053_n Okay so this is a little window by the stair case that is just darling!  So for now I have some stones and crystals setting there but eventually I’d like to get an orchid or some type of flower 😀

10003930_1552622418348579_1063473872418907392_n So some one once told me to enjoy the neatness while you don’t have kids so until I do, I dedicated two cabinets to just looking nice lol.  We do use these dishes but they are washed immediately and put back 😀

10441472_1552597945017693_6586116397772829177_n This is our dinning area in our living room and I think this table just fit so perfectly! I think it’s super cute 😛

10995688_1552543551689799_1204525156898281758_n In our living room is a bookshelf that is also our tv stand (you’ll see this in a later picture) and the center focus is this Bible.  Of all the books we have, the Bible is the most important one and I think it helps represent Nathan and I’s faith.  It was my Great Grandmas Bible given to my Grandfather at her death and is just absolutely beautiful.

11024713_1552599331684221_8601599613614559533_n This is a cabinet just for the beautiful decor cups! The clear ones are the ones Nathans mom got us and the blue and clear ones are the ones my mom gave us 😀

11025814_1551765301767624_8559252498336532283_n These pics show the first day we were there! The soap in the top left corner is some soap that I got from the local soap shop! Living Simply Soap is the best and it’s all made at the shop!! then all of Nathan’s stuff packed and our bathroom.  The lights in the kitchen are rounded so I thought that was cool looking; the salt and pepper shakers; and then finally the back half of our living room facing the stairs 😀

11030857_1552623201681834_1518426435656248502_n This is the rug that I wanted so dearly for our kitchen and man does it make the kitchen look good!

11034176_1552818238328997_3759592263869424503_n Here’s part of the living room including the little dinning area which i think just flows so well!  The Bible right in the center of the book case just, fits so perfectly!

11036266_1551953515082136_7106840191425567562_n Laundry area!  We were so blessed to have so much help furnishing our apartment to really make it feel like home!

11041741_1552599761684178_3965773963886418521_n Here’s the kitchen area.  I wanted to do colorful but not gaudy so I took Nathan’s sister, Sarah, and my dad to make sure I didn’t get too carried away!  (I tend to lol)

11042960_1552819234995564_74102321879733902_n  Here’s a closer look at the bookshelf/tv stand.  The Sing, Dance, Live stones were given to me by my mother and the basket next to the stand holds all of my Bible study stuff and a blanket in case anyone gets cold 😛

11046608_1552627561681398_1485191172859691516_n And finally, this is Nathan and I’s bedroom 😀

The only picture not on here is one of the game room only because we’re not done setting it up yet! Once we are I’ll update it!  Until then thanks for reading!


Starting a Life Together

So big news everyone!!! Nathan and I have been approved for the apartment of our dreams!!!  Our year and a half back together has been far from a fairytale, heck what we have gone through in this past year and a half is more than some couples experience in their entire lives together.  It wouldve torn some apart and at times it did; but by the grace of God, who held us together, life is finally starting to look up!  Nathan is actually excited again and seeing him happy, just makes me more than overjoyed! I’ll show you the pictures i took then explain a little of the layout!


Okay so all these pics are from the upstairs(except for the bottom right pic which is the downstairs bedroom)  So the top right is part of the living room and kitchen! the living room is huge!! and alll of this is upstairs.  As soon as you walk in the house, there’s stairs then, if you turn right, theres a small hallway.  On the left side of the hallway is a closet door and a bathroom door; on the right side is Nathans favorite door, the garage(which is freakin huge lol); then at the end of the hall is the downstairs bedroom which will be our game room 😀  When you come upstairs, theres the massive living room that goes into the kitchen.  Behind that white pantry door is washer/dryer hook ups, then beyond the frige is the door to the back patio!  Which is a balcony patio!!  It’s really quite cool.  on the left side of the kitchen is a bathroom door then a small small small hallway that leads to the upstairs bedroom.   Both bedrooms are equal in size which is perfect because it allowed for so much more space in all the other rooms!  I’m so excited because i can see a future in this place; Christmas’s and Thanksgivings together…somewhere where both of our families can fit given that we both have big families lol.  I’m excited for cookouts and summer fun activities and, of course, decorating!!  Making this place look nice and stay nice!  Then, later down the road, kids.  Nathan and I cannot wait to have kids one day!  And this place is big enough for a start!

But anywho continuing on, here are some of the things I’d like to get to get us started!!


Sarah is really really excited and loves to decorate and shop lol.  So since Nathan, being the amazing boyfriend any girl could ask for, has given me free rein to decorate as i please, Sarah and I went out and looked at prices!  The red seat with glass table is the set we’d like to get for the back balcony patio at some point!  It would just fit perfect!  The kitchen will be colorful with the simple but colorful knife set along with measuring cups and rug.  The living room with be filled with natural light using white curtains that just flow angelically.  Thats the other thing awesome about this place is it has such a great source of natural light!  The black and white rug set is for the bathroom; it comes with two rugs, a shower curtain, and shower curtain rings for 15 bucks!

There is so much more i could say but to finish this off, I am so excited and feel so blessed!  I feel like God has just brought us through everything tough to get us to this point.  Nathan has been nothing but amazing and I can’t describe the love for him that i have in words.  He’s the kindest, toughest, most God loving guy I have ever met.  Through everything he never once turned his back to God which is more than I can say.  He and his family, through anything, stay true to God and it is something that I am blessed to have in my life.  Theyve shown me what being a Christian and believer in God really means; and i can’t thank them enough for it.  I am a better person because of Nathan and his family.

Life to be Amazing

Well it has been quite a long time but I have so much to update!  And just a lot of thanking to do so lets start with the McKinney’s…most amazing, loving, caring people i have ever met.  Sarah is growing into a very mature, God driven young woman.  Through, not just everything that shes been through but everything that her family has been through, she keeps a smile on her face and humor in the darkness.  I am a better person because of her..she has taught me things I never knew a 13 year old would understand. And she has helped me have a closer relationship with God to which i can only forever thank her for.  Last year at this time I was so lost, angry,  and confused. Confused about what i believed and why bad things happen to fantastic people.  This year, because of this amazing family, I am closer to God than I ever have been before.  Just watching how they live and how they treat others has really shown that Christ is at the forefront of this families life.  They put all of their trust and love into God no matter what troubles come their way, they always walk through with their head held high and eyes to God; that is something to look up to.


With that being said, Nathan is so special to me.  We’ve had our ups and downs, our fights and dates, our inseparable moments and our break ups. But, with everything that has happened in the past year and a half we’ve been back together, I say we are doing pretty well.  He and I are constantly talking and figuring out where we want to be in life, and where God wants us to be in life.  Constantly working to make our relationship stronger and stronger so one day we’ll make it to our ultimate goal of saying “I Do.”  We are making sure that our relationship is God based and healthy because divorce will never be an option, especially with kids.  I love this man with all my heart and know that God has brought us back together and kept us together for a reason.  Nathan and I have always had a strong connection and have always loved each other.  No matter how hurt or upset either one of us are, we always mend each others wounds and it just makes us stronger and stronger.  God is amazing for giving me this man.  I get teary eyed just writing this lol I just…I am so blessed to have a man as patient and firm in his beliefs as Nathan.  Him and his family are what got me back on God’s track.  God used them to heal me, to help me, to bring me back to Him and I just can’t be anymore thankful!

The next big thing that i am so thankful that God brought into my life is my job.  I absolutely love my job! I love everyone i work with; they are so amazing and I truly couldn’t ask for better co-workers.  10393765_1527696837507804_2515242163159787129_n 10155864_1529971690613652_8133772916385194492_n

Petco is definitely the best most rewarding job I’ve ever had. On top of Petco being a fantastic place, I just recieved a new position of Wholesale Demo Specialist 😀 It’s a brand new position that Petco is introducing this Saturday and I couldnt be more excited!

To finish off this blog with my last topic Nathan and I are looking into moving out very soon and starting our life together and i couldnt be more excited!

So that is all for now!!!! Thanks for reading!!!


Okay, so this is something I’ve been wanting to write about for a while now.  I may get a lot of hate or “you’re not a true Christian” but I honestly can say I don’t really care.  I have studied and prayed about the answer to this for quite sometime and I am finally firm on what I believe.  So let me begin with in Leviticus, God was making rules for his people to safely travel to the promised land.  Many of these seem pretty outlandish (like don’t eat certain meats) but it was to protect His people on their journey. God stated that having sex before marriage was a sin. I’m going to stop there for a second; some people, if told this, would say “okay so I can’t have sex with someone of the opposite sex but, he didn’t say anything about same sex.” So He specified that Homosexual sex was also a sin.  He is talking about lustful acts to fulfill sexual desire just like any other sexually immoral act.  But once you are married, sex is God’s gift to the couple  because they are now one with each other and God. (Not as in the same level as God but God is apart of the relationship in a final way.)  So yes, Homosexuality is a sin, outside of marriage.  I am not saying that Homosexuality was God’s original plan, but neither was divorce (which is talked a lot more than homosexuality and is also considered a sin).  Divorce ruins families and is final.  Once divorced it is made clear that that union can’t ever be again once remarried. But love is different than lust.  Love is when you care for someone so deeply you care for them more than yourself.  When you both have that type of love for each other, you have true love.  Lust is the sin, love is not.  If a homosexual couple decided to wait until marriage to have sex, I don’t see the sin because honestly, they are being more moral and taking marriage more seriously than most now a days.  So my belief is that any kind of lustful sexual act outside of marriage is a sin, but inside of a marriage is a gift from God.

Divorce and Praise

“I can’t process this. Worst news of my life and I can’t understand. The world as I knew it is no longer there; flipped upside down. I’m expected to grab on and enjoy the ride but life, this is it, I’m no longer fine. You’ve been unfair for far too long and now this? You’ve thrown me to the dogs. But beware of me life, for I will arise and when I come back, I come back with a fight. You’ve beat me and bruised me beyond recognition but this bitch laughs at your confusion. Why haven’t I given up? Why haven’t I stopped? Because, life, your not worth my time. God is my refuge through all the struggle. The things thrown at me out of the blue; Gods prepared me for the truth. The pain hurts right now in this moment. Heck I started out hateful in this poem. But the more I wrote the more I realized that I live for God not for life’s lies. So come at me swinging, give it all you got because I can take it. You’ve beaten me to nothing and Gods molded me into something. I end this saying that nothing is impossible. Even when the end comes, the bottom has been hit, look up! I’ve hit that bottomed tonight it seems, but all I see is blue skies ahead, but a long journey up.”

This is a poem I wrote on FaceBook when i found out that my parents are getting a divorce.  I cant get into too much detail do to the fact that the papers havnt been finalized yet but, this has been the hardest thing ive ever been through.  I’m angry, sad, confused (for reasons i cant explain at the moment), and every other emotion in between.  But one thing that has always been steady is God..no matter how far away i get from him or what im going through, hes always there. Guiding me and leading me down this broken path to his arms and i feel so lucky to know and feel Gods love.  My entire world has just crashed, everything that i knew to be true has just been a fraud..but the only thing that has stood true throughout my entire life is God.  He has never left me no matter how bad things got or how far i wanted to run from him he always watched over me.  I am so incredibly blessed and the people hes brought into my life have just been blessings.  First the McKinney’s are just amazing people.  They are the definition of Christ-like..when i felt like i had no where, no family, it didnt matter what they were going through with Nathan’s case and Sarah’s cancer, they took me in and NEVER asked for anything in return. Just gave me a family and a place to stay and fed me…even through those months that i didnt have a job..they are amazing amazing people who are such an inspiration!  I cannot thank them enough for everything theyve done and continue to do and i cannot thank God enough for putting them in my life.  On top of that Matthew, Rae, and Gr8american from twitter have been amazing! Though i just started talking to Gr8, he is a really great guy.  Matthew and Rae are amazing people who are true friends and whom God put into my life to bring me back to him..had it not been for them i may not of ever made it back to God.  I was so angry and sad that Matthew and Rae snapped me out of that and back to where i needed to be.  So thank you everyone who has just been amazing support and help through these times of need and for just being there to talk.  And thank you God for putting them in my life.

God is so Great!

Alright so I just want to express my deep love for God.  I mean I had been a Christian all the way up till October of last year. That was the first time in my life that i had ever doubted or questioned God and i honestly don’t know why…whether it be the fascination for magical things or just the love for nature part of Wicca i ended up for months struggling with religion; something i had never experienced before.  Some people were very helpful in directing me back to Christ while others damned me and completely discouraged me to go back to Christ.  The devil had finally gotten to me; he doesn’t come as a scary red evil being, he comes in hopes and false truths.  He comes in your biggest dreams but turns them to your worst nightmares.  For months i struggled going back and forth, not able to leave God but not able to fully believe in Christianity.  My mom was so fantastic during this time; finding answers to questions i had and inviting me to church when they were going to discuss questions i had.  She really does have Christ in her and i couldn’t ask for a better, more Christian-like, mother.  She didn’t damn me, or get pissed, she simply lead me back to Christ.  I am stubborn though that has always been my downfall.  I was about to go back to Wicca again in July when Nathans mom told me her incredible encounter with God and why she has so much faith even through all that her family has been through the past 5 years.  Simply put she said i am at peace with my standing with God.  Those words echo through my head. Peace with your standing with God?  I want that.  I want to be firm in my beliefs and i want to know the truth i just don’t know how to get there.  A dream one night, i could feel God say I love you, I always have.  I woke up with comfort and knowledge.  i finally knew what i had to do; bible study.  I am a christian but ive never read the bible in its entirety.  And let me tell you, ive never been more at peace with God, myself, and life.  EVER.  I suffer from depression, anger, and bipolar (along with ADD).  Ive never been at peace before in my life.  Always a struggle internally and externally (bullies).  I fight with myself daily.  Poetry is my outlet and later i do have a poem i would like to post.  But through all that, through all the pain, God has always been there.  He kept me strong for so long.  He put the right people in my life so when i failed in faith, they would bring me back to him because he has a plan.  He has a plan for all of us.  Every single one of you reading this whether you believe or not he has a plan for you.  He does amazing work everyday and sometimes its the simple things.  I had a headache one night and i just bowed my head and prayed.  The headache was gone within minutes.  It seems so simple but it just showed me God is always listening and always attentive to our problems no matter how big or small!

ISIS Claims To Have Beheaded American Journalist James Foley

CBS New York

WASHINGTON (CBSNewYork/CBS News/AP) — ISIS, the Islamic extremist group that has overrun parts of Syria and Iraq, released a video Tuesday that apparently shows the beheading of American journalist James Foley.

The militant group also threatened to kill another U.S. journalist if the U.S. does not halt its airstrikes in Iraq, CBS News reported

The group – known in full as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria — released a video titled “A Message to America” that appeared on several social media websites. YouTube removed the video shortly after it was posted, CBS News reported.

A still image of a video that allegedly posts to show ISIS militants beheading American journalist James Foley in Syria. (Credit: CBS News) A still image of a video that allegedly posts to show ISIS militants beheading American journalist James Foley in Syria. (Credit: CBS News)

The video shows a militant using a knife to decapitate a man the group identifies as Foley, CBS News reported. The 40-year-old freelance journalist who had been based in Boston disappeared…

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