God is so Great!

Alright so I just want to express my deep love for God.  I mean I had been a Christian all the way up till October of last year. That was the first time in my life that i had ever doubted or questioned God and i honestly don’t know why…whether it be the fascination for magical things or just the love for nature part of Wicca i ended up for months struggling with religion; something i had never experienced before.  Some people were very helpful in directing me back to Christ while others damned me and completely discouraged me to go back to Christ.  The devil had finally gotten to me; he doesn’t come as a scary red evil being, he comes in hopes and false truths.  He comes in your biggest dreams but turns them to your worst nightmares.  For months i struggled going back and forth, not able to leave God but not able to fully believe in Christianity.  My mom was so fantastic during this time; finding answers to questions i had and inviting me to church when they were going to discuss questions i had.  She really does have Christ in her and i couldn’t ask for a better, more Christian-like, mother.  She didn’t damn me, or get pissed, she simply lead me back to Christ.  I am stubborn though that has always been my downfall.  I was about to go back to Wicca again in July when Nathans mom told me her incredible encounter with God and why she has so much faith even through all that her family has been through the past 5 years.  Simply put she said i am at peace with my standing with God.  Those words echo through my head. Peace with your standing with God?  I want that.  I want to be firm in my beliefs and i want to know the truth i just don’t know how to get there.  A dream one night, i could feel God say I love you, I always have.  I woke up with comfort and knowledge.  i finally knew what i had to do; bible study.  I am a christian but ive never read the bible in its entirety.  And let me tell you, ive never been more at peace with God, myself, and life.  EVER.  I suffer from depression, anger, and bipolar (along with ADD).  Ive never been at peace before in my life.  Always a struggle internally and externally (bullies).  I fight with myself daily.  Poetry is my outlet and later i do have a poem i would like to post.  But through all that, through all the pain, God has always been there.  He kept me strong for so long.  He put the right people in my life so when i failed in faith, they would bring me back to him because he has a plan.  He has a plan for all of us.  Every single one of you reading this whether you believe or not he has a plan for you.  He does amazing work everyday and sometimes its the simple things.  I had a headache one night and i just bowed my head and prayed.  The headache was gone within minutes.  It seems so simple but it just showed me God is always listening and always attentive to our problems no matter how big or small!

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